Apology(ies)

So full of self-hatred

That when death comes to call,

I’ll punch that fucker

Square in the jaw.

For taking his time.

For letting me breathe

For days upon end.

For not doing his job.

The longer I live

The more damage I cause

To those that I love.

To those that I’ve robbed

Of human affection,

Of hope-filled longevity,

Of promise of change,

Of a life full of joy,

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I’m me.

I’m sorry what I’ve become.

I’m sorry I can’t stay.

I must travel on

To the stars where I’m from,

To the earth where I belong,

To the dust where I’m blown,

Into a state of permanently forgotten memories.

I’m sorry.