Discontent in Misery

I honestly don't even remember writing this other than I know it was about 2-3 months ago. Apparently an infection I needed to get out of me...

Drowned in sorrows, used to be
Harrowing guilt in sin and shame
Lost and found in misery
Only have myself to blame

A coward's death, I've heard it named
Inhumane, existence allowed
By God or self, life ends the same
A rabid dog put down

Swallowing blackness
Engorged with darkness
Swollen and bloated
Enslaved and defeated

Solace in solitude once was found
Invisible behind the mask
Endless suffering, eternity's clown
A scrap to the refuse I'm cast

Where once was certainty, discontent
Where once was sadness, distress
Misery my once familiar friend
Abandoned me to death

by Derek Herzberg

"Wassilij Grigorjewitsch Perow 002" by Vasily Perov - The Yorck Project: 10.000 Meisterwerke der Malerei. DVD-ROM, 2002. ISBN 3936122202. Distributed by DIRECTMEDIA Publishing GmbH.. Licensed under Public domain via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wassilij_Grigorjewitsch_Perow_002.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Wassilij_Grigorjewitsch_Perow_002.jpg