Apology(ies)

So full of self-hatred

That when death comes to call,

I’ll punch that fucker

Square in the jaw.

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The Storm After Dawn

This concept came to me as I dwelt in the darkness of depression inside my mind. I felt as though the storm of the previous night had been cast into my body and that nature had cleansed itself at my expense.

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Into the Sun

Floating through darkness

The coldness, the emptiness

Out in space, the void consumes me

I cling to hope. My crew is gone

Abandoned unto death, I float without end

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Lost at Sea

Tossed above the waves as dross amongst refuse
Yet still I remain afloat
Crossed, the lovers’ stars become a woeful recluse
Existence once pleased, becomes bemoaned

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Antagonistic Symbiosis

Life is odd. We create life and then let it dwell inside woman, taking an unknown form for around 9 months. The mother could be harboring anything inside her, but we assume its an innocent "normal" child. In much the same way, our "soul" inhabits us if you will, sometimes sitting dormant to its truest, most carnal desires. Look at all the serial killers and molesters of human life. And then of course my ramblings took me to familiar territory of horror movies like Rosemary's Baby, The Omen, and the Seventh Sign to name but a few. This is meant to serve as an analogy to our own base desires. I deliberately started out the first stanzas one type of voice and tried to go through a few changes of such by the end. Not sure if it worked but its finished. Hope you dig it.

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Scabs

Lyrics of self-reflection...and possibly a plot line of a short story I'm working on...spoiler alert anyone?

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Burn of a Thousand Failures

Dark times produce dark writings...

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Children of War

Some potential lyrics I wrote as a challenge from a friend.

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Thoughts on Depression

I’ve never really been one to struggle with controlling my temper/anger, or rather letting it get to me so deeply that it goes to a violent end. I’m not a violent guy, nor do I particularly enjoy confrontation. But one thing I’ve never been able to control is the inexplicable sadness that accompanies depression.

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Fading Unto Death

I wrote this today while wishing for a merciful release from my inner turmoil. I imagined my life in a slow dissolve from the moment I took my first breath as an infant. "Born to die" as they say. Even the brightest day grows dark in the evening.

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Winter's Pane

Sitting in my pick-up looking at the world outside and reflecting on my world inside, I noticed some similarities...

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Death Sequence

The lyrics to this song during a dark bout of depression and hopelessness. I see them them as a reflection of where I was, not where I am. I write to rid myself of these feelings that so often plague me. Feelings of worthlessness. Insecurity. Self-doubt. Insignificance. The music came to me unrelated to the lyrics, but the guitar rhythms called my mind back to this particular poem and it was done. 

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Trollskinner

A song from our newest album, Trollskinner is based on the movie Troll Hunter, although I wrote the lyrics from the perspective of a hunted troll.

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Abomination of Creation

I wrote this today while at a particularly low point. Reflection is often a curse to me for some reason. My mind over-analyzes far too many details of life and leaves me feeling a failure, a coward, alone. I drew comparison in this poem between the act of awaiting execution and awaiting forgiveness, both requiring the subordinate to kneel before the master of his fate.

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Ballad of Monkey Boy

Just thinking about how sometimes the person that is there for everybody else often times has nobody there for them when they need it.

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Lost and Bound

Not sure how to define the process here...lets just call it "cold purge." Some ideas hit me and I needed to get them out. Triple meaning here for me: personal, religious, and secular.

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Immortality of Sickness

This is a three-headed beast. One part inspiration from The Strain, one part creating/brainstorming a character for the annual family Halloween party, and one part self-reflecting parable.

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Thief in the Night

Those that know me know of my desire to be abducted by aliens, not to be probed, just abducted. I could use some cosmic enlightenment. I want immortality and a free ride to just travel through space and admire all the galactic handiwork of the multiverse.

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Hellworm

A familiar theme in my writing through the years, though this one is fairly recent. I believe I wrote this last summer.

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To Find the Peace in Madness

Melancholia came to visit again today...she doesn't come around as much this year but when she does, she stays a while...I'm trying...

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Army of Eyeless

I decided to focus myself and write a poem today. This is about a set of characters from my novel I've been working on (for years). "Technical specs": 11 syllable isometric lines, aabb rhyming stanzas...or something like that...

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Battle Hymn of our Fathers

This is a song I wrote and recorded many years ago (15 years ago?). The recording isn't the best, due to my limitations then...I was using a PC microphone dangling from a coat hangar propped on my desk in such a way as to let the microphone hang even with the sound hole of my acoustic guitar. I didn't know then what I know now about recording (which still isn't a whole lot) and I used mostly first takes if they "weren't too bad"...anyhoo, here it is...be kind

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Discontent in Misery

I honestly don't even remember writing this other than I know it was about 2-3 months ago. Apparently an infection I needed to get out of me...

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Leechbreed

Wrote this tonight while watching an episode of The Strain. I find it pretty cool when one artistic medium inspires another.

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Stain of Disease

I wrote this poem as an interpretation of a painting I came across in the Boise Art Museum, the title and artist of which have been lost to me. 

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